Eternal mind of the spotless sunshine


Bangkok Incident
July 8, 2009, 4:42 am
Filed under: travel

Bangkok is a mess! People everywhere, in every possible direction, yet your cabbie steers all away at 70mph. When I was in the tour van with my parents, only my father spoke to the lady who was directing us. We, my brother and mother, kept speaking to eachother in portuguese. She thought my mother couldn’t speak english.

Thus ensued a hilarious occasion. Whilst driving from one temple to another (there are seventeen MILLION temples… visit them all… they’re fupping great), on our way back to the hotel, she asked my father if, after dropping us off, he’d care for some entertainment. Handed him her card and said ‘we’re very discrete, just tell your wife you want to walk around to buy her a present from the market but doesn’t want her to come with because it’s a surprise. It’s very near the hotel. Only a couple minute’s walk. Just look for this sign (pointed to the card) and ask for (some name I can’t remember)’.

My mom, distracted as she is, didn’t even pick up what the lady was saying – the fact that she speaks louder than a hyena screams is also a major factor in not listening to those around her. My brother and I looked at each other and saw my father’s face (he’s of moorish-portuguese decendancy… meaning a little arab… meaning slightly suntanned coloured skin…) turn maroon red from the embarrassment, kind of looking across the van to my mother without being disrespectful to the tour lady. He accepted the card and had a nervous smile as an answer to her offer. As we got off the van, dad handed my mother the card, asked her to come with, and we all laughed our arses off in the lobby. She wanted to kill the little lady.

Me and my brother spent three days asking for that card. We never got it.

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