Eternal mind of the spotless sunshine

May 22, 2007, 2:39 am
Filed under: chronicles

Bereft of life I live, ebbing my way into the inevitable darkness. Sorrows bequeathed. Minutes pass like months as I lay here, waiting, panting as a wounded beast, thrown aside in the gutter where you left me. 

As the tears stream down my cheeks I seclude myself from my surroundings. I await the enduring emptiness to subside. I yield little from the fading beats of my heart.

Forging enough will to fully awake from my prone position I gather myself in these shallow waters. Enough still shines within me. It will not be on this day that I succumb to an eternity of numbness. It will not be on this day that I allow myself to wither in pain. 

My lethargic body attempts to rise, yet fails from lack of strength. The pallium of mist slowly cloaks me. Forlorn clarity of a bleary world.

Words could never fathom explanations to the feeling brewing inside me. Thoughts exiled in barriers of guilt now roam free. I shall not falter. 

No wounds are to be concealed, nor is the growing desire to retaliate. This waning sanity of mine. Nevermore will I veil these woebegone eyes.

Diverted dreams lie afore my dreary eyes. I step closer to perdition ever slowly. Divine infidelity this. The hurt of sins once committed ache no more.  

My arms have laid stretched to you long enough.

Remembrance is but sweet sorrow. Circumstances have long been forgotten, exempting your inevitable province. Denying is futile. 

My anamneses. The recollections imbued in this contorted creature. It is all I have left. I do not forget.

All limbs feel gelid. Rain descends to shower me in filth. This anhedonic pose, mired in a hellish nightmare. 

Still I persist, ingathering bottled emotions. I am but a shadow of my old self. My hoard of anger will leave you in ruins.

I will search for Sumerian ways to hurt you. My wrath will protrude from every pore of me. The profoundly deranged image to stand before thee is but a glimpse of what is hidden inside this aging shell. 

Your veins will be cut as mine. Your soul will suffer like mine. I shall dance the hurt away atop your corpse, reveling in your blood.

Only then will this pond swirl to sea.


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